With two years comes a new Job which is a “NEW” job not a “GOOD” job. Or should I say it’s better than nothing. It’s quite odd how I ran away from school only to find myself working in a facility with over 200 employees. I’ve been there a year now and it’s funny how I still have flashbacks of school at work. It’s nerve racking and kind of reminds me of a war Veterans flashbacks to combat.
I sit alone at lunch and stare at a wall. That’s hard to admit for me. It’s extremely difficult to eat with so many people around, I feel like everyone is critiquing how I eat. I’m so afraid to speak I don’t want to make my coworkers dislike me. My words are few and far between. When I am spoken to I come off awkward because I am panicking in my head trying to think of the right thing to say. I avoid looking at people when walking past them and I think that this is making people think that I am a snob. I can never escape the feeling of everyone’s eyes on me judging me.
Like torture of my own making, that is my life and that is my job with social anxiety.
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