I was shut off at the age of 12. At the age of 14 I was officially dead inside. Contemplating suicide at the age of 14, I broke down until there was nothing left of me. How does one rebuild after this?
Elementary, My Dear Watson,
It’s funny really how elementary school lives in my mind as a happy time. A smaller group of kids and people to deal with, I became quite comfortable there. I knew everyone and everyone knew me. Now even there though I was the kid that distanced himself from social interaction. For example in kindergarten when waiting to go home I would always be standing by myself while everyone else would be playing. This is really the only place I ever made real friends and even those friends would later be lost.
But... this was only the beginning of a life...
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Hello Andy. I saw a thing pointing to your blog, and decided to check it out. Have you ever heard of Asperger's Syndrome? It's an autistic spectrum disorder that makes it really hard for people to figure out how to socialize and fit in to groups. A lot of people with AS are misdiagnosed with all kinds of other things. The thing that you say about kindergarten made me think that you might want to take a look at:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php?name=Forums
You might find some people there who understand you. :)
Hello Wanda,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reply and information.
As you have said Asperger syndrome has to do with social interaction. But I’ve never had trouble fitting into groups or socializing with people once I have gotten to know them. Nor do I have trouble reading body language or communicating. What I face is an extreme shyness for lack of a better description. I don’t fit into most if not all the symptoms of Asperger syndrome.
Andy
You're talented at writing I hope you know that. There's a perfect clarity to the words. I can't say I know what your going through - maybe like an ounce - but I get it. Keep it up
ReplyDeleteI like your words Valle.. though some are hard to read. I guess that would make sense though. I've felt a lot of the same emotions dealing with the loneliness and isolation of social anxiety. not understanding why i can't seem to get what others seem to have. I was the kindergartener alone on the playground too. Not sure why, but I'm trying to change it. Hope you don't mind if I keep reading...
ReplyDeleteHi Lizbeth,
ReplyDeleteWe are not alone this is something we always have to remember. Deep down I think we all want to be set free from this. We just have to keep fighting and we will win.
Please feel free to read. I can’t say I will post everyday but I will do what I can to write and answer people that would like to know things
Andy
Hi Andy, I have had problems w/ social anxiety as well, however prob. not on the same scale that you face. I think one problem you may have is this music. It sounds kinda depressing. J/K, but seriously, try something more upbeat and fun : )!
ReplyDelete